Like most people, Ava was having a pretty average day. She had woke up that morning, and after laying in bed for what seemed like forever but was in reality only 5 minutes, she got herself out of bed. She went about her usual routine: first, check face in the mirror just in case it had somehow changed during her sleep, check her teeth in case any had dropped out during the night, pop a pill to make sure she didn’t pop out any babies. The usual.
She had just gotten out of the shower and was wrapped in her favourite Winnie the Pooh towel when she heard a strange beeping noise. Must be the central system, she thought. She ignored and went to get dress. It soon became too loud to ignore. She ran downstairs to try and locate the source of the beeping and also wondering where her parents were.
She found the panel that controlled the central system, but everything seemed to be in perfect order. Brows furrowed, she turned around quickly when something glittery caught her eye. Reader, the old idiom “curiosity kills the cat” never fails to be applied in situations like this. We shall humour Ava’s story for now.
At this point, Ava had now walked towards the glittery something and was shocked to discover that the glittery something was actually a glittery someone, and it was a glittery 3 foot tall. She wasn’t sure how to describe the person because she had never seen anyone like that.
The glittery someone in question was called Leroy. You’ll find out all about him later, reader.
“Pleased to meet your acquaintance,” said Leroy. Ava seemed to be in a state of shock, but it was hard to tell because she only ever really had one expression. Resting bitch face.
“Who the hell are you?” was the first thing that she said.
“What the hell are you?” was the second thing that she said.
And finally, “Why are you waving at me with a remote control?” was the last thing she said.
It sounds dramatic, I know, but what story doesn’t have suspense. You’re probably wondering in your head why did Ava have to go and check out the glittery thing. Some things we will never know. People are just naturally drawn to discovering things, and Ava was one of them. Like that time she discovered she was of those people that could lick their elbow. Or that time she discovered that she could sing even with her mouth closed. She was pretty chuffed with that one. So, reader, you’ll find it understandable that Ava would go and check out the glittery thing and then next thing you know end up in the middle of Trafalgar Square surrounded by more people than she thought necessary.
Whilst she recognised Trafalgar Square, it definitely didn’t look like the Trafalgar Square that she knew. Her Square didn’t haven’t lions and columns and people pissing in the fountain. Her Square, also, most certainly did not have a big thumbs up sculpture that seemed to be mocking anyone that gazed at it for even a mere second. “Oh, you’re visiting the National Gallery because you want to be enlightened and cultured? Greeaaaattttt, for you. Really (insert thumbs up here).”
Ava was overwhelmed again. It was a feeling she got often these days.